Reflections

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I promised to share some of my favorite bike rides from summer 2016. So on this beautiful fall day, let me share 5 new rides I did this summer that I’d recommend.

#1 Spring Lake Regional Park to Hastings, MN – Bike #44 was a lovely Friday evening ride along the Mississippi River, corn fields, rolling hills and bluffs. For those of us that live on the southside of the Twin Cities, it’s a gem right in our backyard. Trails take you through the regional park and Hastings and this fall the trail opens going north. For more, here’s the link: https://www.threeriversparks.org/parks/spring-lake-park.aspx

#2 Carver Park Reserve – Bike #32 combined the popular Lake Minnetonka LRT Regional Trail and exploring the Carver Park Reserve. While I knew about the trail, I had never been to this expansive reserve before. It was a quiet park on a lovely day. Walk it, roller blade on it, and even go to the nature center if you have the time. For more, here’s the link:  https://www.threeriversparks.org/parks/carver-park.aspx

#3 Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge – Bike #36 and #46 started from the parking lot of Stagecoach Road and Highway 101 (close to ValleyFair by the Highway 169 bridge). One ride took me over the Minnesota River to Bloomington, the other ride brought me through Shakopee in the woods near the river to Chaska. It is a great ride, but note these trails are impacted by flooding, so check the website for updates – https://www.fws.gov/refuge/Minnesota_Valley/map.html

#4 – Elm Creek Park Reserve and Rush Creek Regional Trail – Bike #50 not only raised money to support Pancreatic Cancer, it helped me explore the Elm Creek Park Reserve and the Rush Creek Regional Trail. A few days later I did part of the Rush Creek Trail from the Shingle Creek Trail. And on Bike #52 – my century ride – I returned this time coming at the trail from the Coon Rapids Dam and then exploring Maple Grove and Rice Lake trails. Elm Creek has many miles of trails and they are in great shape. It’s a gem for those on the northwest corner of the Cities, but it is also worth the drive for those who are not. Rush Creek has more intersections, but it is well maintained and a good ride. For more, here’s the link: https://www.threeriversparks.org/trails/rush-creek-trail.aspx

#5 – Paul Bunyan Trail – Rides #8, 9 and 10 took place on this popular trail. One ride was on a Sunday afternoon. The trail was busy, but it was still a great ride. The other rides were early in the morning on weekdays, so the trail was not very crowded and I could set the pace I wanted. (One more I rode with two of my brothers and my sister-in-law and we got moving pretty fast.) I explored the end south of Brainerd and north of Brainerd. If you want to do it all it is over 100 miles long. Many sections are wooded, so the wind wasn’t too fierce. Here is a great map of the whole trail, with details for various sections – http://www.paulbunyantrail.com/trail-maps/

I could go one, but will stop for now. To see pictures of these rides, go to my Instagram account and search for #BikeMn52.

Here’s to memories and anticipating!

Passing on Blessings

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What does it take to bless future generations?

I have been pondering this question quite a bit lately. And there are many reasons, I suppose. One reason could be because of the conversations my husband and I now have with our parents. They are healthy and active “senior adults” – still very active in their communities and present in our life. But they, and consequently we, are aware of the gift these years are and don’t want to take them for granted. So much can change quickly, as we have witnessed with their friends and other family members. So we find ourselves appreciating the moments and savoring this chapter of our lives together. What will life be without them? A question we don’t want to delve into too deeply, but one that could be over the horizon sooner than we’d like. They have been such blessings to us in our lifetime, in profound and ordinary ways. How do we tell them of our gratitude? How do we thank them for their love and support? How do we let the blessings they have bestowed on us flow to others?

Another reason could be the frequent reminders that I am not as young as I use to me. In fact, I’m getting old. If I am average (something I’ve never been accused of) I have more years behind me than ahead of me. I don’t remember if it was the trifocals or the AARP application that first tipped me off to this reality, but I do know my visits to the gym and 5K running times have let me know I’m in a new age bracket. Mostly I don’t mind being in my 5th decade of life. I’m certainly more comfortable with who, and whose, I am. I’m glad for a family to ground me and for work that is meaningful. But I also live with a greater sense of urgency and desire to make an impact. I have less patience for the mundane and more interest in the meaningful. And sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. I want to make good choices, for me and for the people I love around me. What does that look like? Does that change any of my priorities? What do I need to step back from? What do I need to step into more deeply?

The final reason, and the reason that most often captures my attention, is parenting young adult children. How do I treasure these years without over, or under, parenting? What does that look like? When do I listen and when do I speak? How do I grow to love what and whom they love? What can I learn from them, as I also remind them of what’s important to me? I am appreciating the days we have together, sharing living space, talking about the daily, helping each other navigate the twists and turns of adult life. And I see their confidence in who, and whose, they are grow. But I also know there will be hard times ahead, times I can’t be there or protect them from or even experience for them. I’m hopeful these “good days” provide the soil from which abundant living will grow – in good seasons and difficult ones.

So today, I wonder…how do I pass on gratitude, values, leadership, and the blessing of family? And how do I open myself to new ideas, accept help, move aside, and accompany? On a journey…learning as I go.

Turning

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As the leaves on the trees begin to turn vibrant shades of yellow and orange and the sun sets on September, I’m reluctantly letting go of summer and reflecting on these past few months, in particular my 51 biking adventures throughout Minnesota.

Some of you know what I am talking about; I’ve done a lot of biking this summer and conned many of you into joining me. But for those that don’t know, here’s the scoop.

In June, days before my 52nd birthday, I was out riding my bike and was reminded of all the great places we have to bike here in the Twin Cities. So I decided, on a whim really, that it was time to explore these many and varied bike routes in the state of MN. So the next day I called my parents and invited them to join me and my daughter for a ride. That day we rode the Greenway and Cedar Lakes trails, I took a photo, posted it in Instagram, and bike #2 was in the books. The adventure had begun.

My goal was 52 different rides, and my only rule was I had to bike different routes each time. Because my “normal” mode of biking was training for races (usually on the same course) this goal seemed pretty lame, maybe even weak, but starting simple I figured I could build from there.

The first few rides were easy, as I tried out some of the paths I knew but hadn’t ridden for awhile. But it wasn’t long before I needed to expand my horizons. So, I did two things: got some maps – one of which I marked each route after my ride – and I talked with people. To my goal and rule, I discovered I needed to add something else – a postureexplorer mode! Explorer mode was about being open, and required both doing research and trying new things along the way. Sometimes explorer mode helped me find new trails and beautiful park reserves, sometimes it was forced on me by construction and detours. At times it was the result of being at a fork in the road “and taking the one less traveled.” A few times it brought me to a dead end. Overall explore mode opened up new territory and the desire to visit again.

This goal, rule, and posture helped me develop a new skilladaptability. Adapting became central to everything and helped me reframe all kinds of situations. For example, I learned to adapt my expectation of time – what started as “oh this route will only take me an hour” often turned into 90 minutes plus travel time. Therefore as the summer progressed I learned to leave the end time open so I didn’t feel pressure. I also learned to adapt to the surroundings – a popular trail on a Saturday morning has more traffic than a less popular one on Monday morning; roads are slower than paths; and feeling rain in the air usually means a storm is brewing. And biking with people and by myself are different, so I learned to adapt my pace to be in sync with those I was traveling with. Some days I pushed it with hard core bikers and other days I had a leisurely ride with people more interested with what’s going on around them. The whole continuum was fine with me, because in the end, it was great to bring people into the adventure with me.

Practicing this skill help me name a second rulehave fun! Be it a solo ride along the river on a 90 degree day or an outing with relatives “up north” or chatting with a friend while going around the lakes, I wanted, personally and for my fellow adventurers, to enjoy the ride and remember something good about the adventure. (And I learned it is really OK to have fun be a rule!)

Saturday is bike #52100 miles around the greater Twin Cities. Most of the trails I will already have been on sometime this summer; a few connecting roads/trails will be new. A few of you may see me in your neighborhood, feel free to join in a few miles if you like, but know this…Minnesota is a great state for biking and invites us all into various adventures. This summer, biking was mine.

I’ll share more about the lessons I learned this summer…and give some links to great trails near and far…but until then I invite you to enjoy the turning of summer into fall and to wonder about your own adventures.

Reset in New Jersey

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For the past 3 days, over thirty church leaders from Lutheran and Episcopalian congregations reimagining confirmation. We explored our driving questions as ministry leaders, we wondered about the driving questions of God’s people in the past, and we named the brokenness and joys of our world…all before we started talking about confirmation. Then we engaged theconfirmationproject.com research, especially the portraits of multiple approaches to confirmation with various purposes and talked with youth themselves. We prayed together, celebrated the Lord’s supper, gathered for conversation over food and drink, and became one expression of Christian community.

Today, we return home. On one level, not much will change. Many will lead confirmation ministry tonight in their home congregations. Many are preparing sermons for Sunday. And then there are the committee meetings, administrative details, and pastoral care needs to attend to. On one level it will look the same.

But on a deeper level, we leave knowing the church is changing and believe God is in the midst of it. We are renewed for another week, month, season of ministry. Scattering across the Northeast this afternoon, we know there are kindred spirits wrestling with similar ideas, praying for the real needs of the world and our churches, and open to God’s promises breaking in. And on that level, we are not the same. Hope lurks like spring on our doorstep. It longs to find a home in us. And we long for it, just as we are uncertain that the winter winds are done with us.

Today, I invite all of us to pray for our youth, our world, and our churches as we navigate this change of season.

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Let the Summit Begin!

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We are the church and today we are living into our calling!

Today I join 40 people, from 40 networks, to discuss, imagine, and pray for faith formation within the ELCA. Our goal for the next two days is to connect, align, and collaborate existing initiatives in the ELCA around faith formation ministry working with children, youth, young adults, and their families in order to cultivate a culture of faith formation within our church, congregations, and ministries.

We have been having formal and informal conversation about this for years. We have prayed for coordination, leadership, and support around such work. And today…we take these conversations a step further. Please pray for us in these next two day…and the months and years ahead.

Follow the conversation online – #formingfaithelca

And then … LIFE

Here I sit, on the other side of Easter. No more Lent, no more focusing on despair, no more walking to the cross. So now what?

The theme for our Easter sermon on Sunday was life, like living…actual heart-beating in our chest living. Before worship I went on an early morning walk and noticed life – spring sprouting, worms on the sidewalk, grass turning green. It’s hard to miss it, yet we do, rather I do, all the time.

So what would living, like really living look like in your world these days? If death had no hold on you, what would change in your life?

I’m not sure I know what that looks like for me yet, but I do know I’d risk more, I’d spend more time working together with others for the common good, and I’d listen to other people’s stories (because most people have very interesting stories).

Each of these ideas surfaced as I surfed Facebook and these videos caught my attention. Maybe, on this side of Easter, they might get your attention too.

http://blog.ed.ted.com/2016/03/24/how-educators-can-apply-innovation-methodology-in-everyday-projects/

 

Is it time?

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Many of us leadership know the value of stepping back from the immediacy of leading (be it in our homes, workplaces, or volunteer work) to see the bigger picture of what is going on. The new year, and/or new seasons, often nudge us into such reflection.

What you may or may not know is that this reflection type of reflection has a name. According to Ronald Heifetz it is called “Getting on the Balcony” and he names how critically important this practice is for leaders.

Today one of our Luther Seminary students shared this blog with me, a reflection on this engaging this practice. It’s worth a read…and worth the time to practice this type of reflection yourself.

Leadership Insights Blog by Wesley Dorsett

And the results are in!

So it wasn’t a big poll (37 people), but it was interesting.

Last week I posted a poll asking about your plans for 2016. And here’s what you said…

38% are planning to learn something new

32%  are planning a special vacation

16% are are starting a new habit

(the rest of you fell into the other category)

That’s pretty cool, and thanks to all who participated.

Look for more to come in 2016.

T

 

Parenting College Students

Parenting college students is not easy, but come to think of it, neither was parenting a 2 year old. And while I KNEW I was a novice parent and was apt to pick-up a parenting book or ask for advise when my kids were 2, perhaps it might be good to admit my need for guidance now as my “kids” are emerging into adulthood. What is my role in their maturing? When do I intervene and when do I “stay out of it”?

Last night I ran across this article while my daughter and her boyfriend were hanging in the kitchen with me. As I read parts of it aloud, I reiterated (to them and to me) my role. My role is to help you move into adulthood, to move toward self-sufficiency and to help you discover (and grow) your own gifts of self-reliance.

Karen Able says it this way:

When children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t learn to problem solve very well. They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety.

The research data points to the mental health issues college students are facing. Some of this is not new, or so it seems to me. The transition into college is hard and many students do feel lonely and sad. But the over involvement of parents and the lack of experience with failure are factors that are different for many college students.

Here are some things to check out. For a good book see:  How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims, out now from Henry Holt and Co.

Or read this article: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2015/07/helicopter_parenting_is_increasingly_correlated_with_college_age_depression.html?wpsrc=sh_all_dt_tw_top