Anticipation … And wonder

Tomorrow is a big day.

It’s a big day because our organization has been in interim for the past 15 months and tomorrow we meet the person who will be our new leader.

I remember when I was serving a congregation in interim and met the person who would become our new lead pastor. I was excited and nervous. Excited, because it was time, time to be out of interim, and this leader came with good recommendations. Nervous, because I knew the future was unsure, and my future was unsure. You see, I was 8 months pregnant and knew my returning from maternity leave would be to a new world. What would my role be? How would the culture change? What if I didn’t fit in?

Tomorrow has a similar anticipation. This new leader comes having been lifted up by a group of committed and faithful people and a thorough discernment process. The team sends her to us with their approve and enthusiasm. I trust them. But that doesn’t take away the questions. That doesn’t stop the uncertainty. That doesn’t stop me from wondering about what changes lie ahead and what my place is in the organization in the future.

The day I returned from maternity leave I was as nervous as the day I started working right out of college. My return reminded me the organization was in a new place, and so was I. Would we still be a match? A simple, but really important question, and only months of showing up and being open to a new future would answer it. At some point I realized I wasn’t wondering anymore, and the months turned into years of meaningful ministry. I know it could have gone another way, and that would have been okay too, but it didn’t.

Tomorrow is a big day, but it is also not the most important day. The important days are the ones ahead, the days of just showing up and wondering. Are we still a match? It is time, time for a new leader and time for change. And I’m changing, I’m wondering about the changes going on in the church and where I am called to contribute. All of it is needed and necessary. And it’s change.

I’m excited for tomorrow, and I’m open to the future, and anticipate many days of wonder ahead. What about you? Is change taking place around you? Is this a time of wonder? My prayer is this – May God be in present tomorrow in our community and may God be present in me, letting me be open to wonder. God, let us wonder, together.

One thought on “Anticipation … And wonder

  1. Pingback: This Week’s Links « Timothy Siburg

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